Yesterday and Today
by lorenmichelle
Summary: This story ties into my Draco/OC story a bit, can definitely read one and not the other. Michelle St. Crow and Bill Weasley use to be happy together and madly in love. But with the threat of a war and new dangers can they find their way back together? Or will they go their own ways?
1. Chapter 1

The warmth of the fire whiskey filled my body as I sat on my tesomeonery bed in my nighty. I don't know how to deal with all these emotions anymore, it was starting to consume me and I had no one to scream help to. So this was my escape.

No one is really aware of my current state, who can I really tell this too? He was my person and now he was gone. Sirius was never coming back to me, how can I move on with anything else? He helped me through so much. He was the only one to stop the pain.

"At least I have this." I sighed and took another swig from the bottle in my hand. This wasn't the right way to deal with this and I am very aware of it, I don't want to deal with it any other way though. My family won't fully understand and Tonks is still dealing with it in her own way. That must be even worse for her considering it was her own aunt that killed Sirius...The same aunt that also killed Max.

That didn't make this any easier for me either. It fueled my hatred for Bellatrix even more. What a foul women she was-if we can even call her a woman. More like a demon. I set the bottle of fire whiskey on the night stand and rolled over on my stomach and just stared off, my cheek smoothed into the fluffy pillow. The tan walls were calming for once, we'll when you need to stop thinking.

The room suddenly felt warm and it made me panic. I couldn't breathe. Was I even breathing? No I wasn't. I stood quickly and tripped over to the window, I needed air. I lifted the window up and felt the cool autumn air invade my small room. I closed my eyes as I stood at the window and left the refreshing breeze possess my long ebony locks. I took in a deep breath and observed the voice I had. There weren't many people walking about the dimly lit streets. One wanderer caught my eye. He was tall and lanky-but strong looking. It was to dark to make out specific facial festures, but my guess was that he was pale, red headed, and his hair touched his shoulders...could it...no. It couldn't be.

"Don't be foolish Michelle, it's the whiskey doing this to you. " I told myself. "Though I really didn't drink a lot..."

I fixed the strap to my nighty that was falling off my shoulder and pulled the window back down. I walked over to the small love seat in the corner of the room and sat with my head in my hands. I was falling apart. I missed Sirius and I still missed Bill. Maybe I should have stayed with him. I shouldn't have been a coward. I have been a bloody fool. Ending everything with Bill. Our friendship, our love, our engagement. We were going to get married. I really know how to handler a situation. Thank Merlin for Sirius, he's house I made it through.

A sturdy knock at my door brought me back. I shouldn't have anyone disturbances. Tonks had already gone to bed. I stared at the door and grabbed my wand off small coffee table in front of me and slowly approaches the door. I can be very silent when I want to be.

There was another knock at the door. I was debating opening the door or maybe hiding. This could be someone dangerous, in my line of work this person could try to kill me. How would they know what room I was in? Did they go to Tonks'room? I hope not. Another knock. I took a deep breath and readied my wand and opened the door slightly. This was no dark wizard at my floor, quite the opposite actually.

"Bill? What are you doing here? " I asked him, shocked and my wand still drawn. He had no reason to be here in Hogsmeade.

"Why are you pointing your wand at me? " He asked alarmed, eyes wide. His ginger hair was a bit of a mess due to the wind.

"Oh...Oh! I'm so sorry! " I gasped not realizing what I was really about to do if it were someone here to harm me. "Here, come on in. "

I opened the door all the way and stepped aside, he stepped inside and I quickly closed the door. He stood in the middle of the room with his hands in his pockets and looking around awkwardly. I was leaning against the door starting at him when I suddenly remembered how I was dressed.

"I apologize for my lack of decent clothing, I wasn't expecting any visitors. "I explained to him. "I can put a robe on if you'd like."

He chuckled and looked down at his feet then back to me. "Honestly, I have seen you in less and now you ask to cover up? "

"I suppose you're right. " I smiled at him. "Would you like to sit down? "

"Oh, sure. Thank you." He smiled back and sat on the lover seat. I joined him but made sure that was a good amount of space between us. ee Sat there in silence for a minute or so and I took that time to observe him. I hadn't seen him in some time now, getting near two years. His hair was slightly longer and that was the only real difference I noticed. He still had those eyes that made my heart melt and a smile that made me swoon. He was still my Bill...well sort of.

"So, why did you come here?" I finally asked. "Not that it's s problem or anything, but I haven't seen you in such a long time."

"it has been awhile, hasn't it?" He looked at me as he said it. I nodded and he looked down. There was so being going on. I could tell. I know him. "I..."

He trailed off and put his face in his hands. Whatever it was it was stressing him out.

"Bill, you can tell me... " I placed a hand on his back to reassure him.

"I...I don't know how to say it." He looked up act me, his handsome face full of pain. "It's harder than I thought it would be. "

"What is it? You can tell me." I moved closer to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"I...I'm getting married." He finally said to me. The words didn't register to me.

"You're... What?" My voice cracked as I asked.

"I'm engaged Michelle." He looked devastated to tell me. The words made sense. Bill finally moved on. He found someone else who will love him. For a life time. I'm not saying I don't- I will love him until the very end.

"Michelle...?" Bill's voice was soft and low. "Are you okay? Say something please."

"I'm- I'm happy for you." I forced out. "You finally found the right girl."

I stood and walled over to my nightstand, blinking back the tears as the words sink in. I reached for the opened bottle of fire whiskey and took a long drink.

"Michelle... Be honest with me."Bill pleaded from the love seat, I didn't face him

"I am. I'm so happy you found the right girl for you, someone you can spend you're life with." A single tear away from my eye and down my cheek. I felt sick and lounge I had been stabbed I the chest. "Who is the lucky girl, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Fleur. Flour Delacour." He said it so angry, I was confused on why. When I turned he was standing and starring at me.

"That's lovely, she was the champion for Beauxbaton during tournament." I faked a smile. "Here, let's have a drink to celebrate. "

"No." He said angrily. I set the bottle flown and stated bank at him.

"What?" I thought he'd want to celebrate or at least have a drink after telling me this.

"No." He repeated again, he sounded angry but his eyes were full of sadness. "I don't want to drink. What I want is for you to stop pretending like you don't care that I told you I am getting married to someone that isn't you, but should be you."

"Bill..."

"Listen to me, I thought you would be upset or mad at me maybe cry or gift me...but you just congratulate me and over me a drink?" He asked in disbelief.

"How am I suppose to react? You aren't mine anymore!" I exclaimed.

"You made damn sure of that now didn't you? " He was bitter. He had a right to be. After I ended things and moved back home for a couple months, he would try to write me every day. Bill even showed up at our door drunk and crying. But my family was a target. I couldn't risk him. I love him.

"You know my reasons." I said sternly, trying not to let my voice falter. "You act like I wasn't hurt either."

"You couldn't have been too devasted! You ended up with Sirius!" He yelled at me. Everything came undone right then. The tears, the frantic breaths, the memory of that night.

"How dare you bring him up to me! You have no right!" I cried and brought my hands to my eyes. Not even a second later he embraced me and held me close.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Michelle." He whispered into my hair. "I didn't mean it."

"I always loved you. I never stopped loving you." I sobbed into his chest. "I'm not happy you're engaged to someone that isn't me. But that's the price I pay."

"It doesn't have to be." His words took me back.

"Why what do you mean?" I looked up at him.

"I can break it off with Fleur and we can be together again." He cupped my tear streaked face and smiled down at me with hopeful eyes. "We can get engaged again and get married and and can have a family Michelle. Just say the word and we can do it all."

I almost said yes to it. I want to. I want to kiss him and do all the things he said we could do. But we can't. I'm an Auror. I have so many after me and my family is known ad blood traitors- well my father is and my mother is a mugger born. Not to mention Fleur. I can't do this.

"Bill..." I tried not cry more but it was breaking my heart all over again. "We can't. I can't do that to Fleur."

"Why not?" His voice was raspy and his face looked desperate. "It's still very early on in the relationship. I can tell her that that I'm not ready for commitment! "

I shook my head. "No Bill, we can't be together."

"Michelle, I love you. I still love you as much as I did when we first kissed. Do you remember? It was snowing and we were walking back from Hogsmeade and..." Tears were starting to fall from from his gorgeous eyes. "I love you. You're the one I want to be with Michelle. You're my everything."

"Don't say that, it only makes it worse." I whispered.

"But it's true, and so is this." He kissed me softly and gently, like he use to. My hands rested on his chest as he held my face still. He pulled away slightly only to plant another kiss on my lips.

When he pulled away and dropped his hands, we just stared at each other for a moment. Both not knowing what to do or say. The only thing I could think of doing is to kiss him back. So I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back just as he did me. I felt his arms circle my waist and soon dropped down to the back of my thighs. He hoisted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. My nighty was scrunched up from when he grabbed me, he began kissing me harder and soon added his tongue to the equation. Before I knew it, he had laid me on the bed. I knew this was wrong, but right now I didn't care. I needed Bill. I needed his love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so there a few typos on my first chapter, I wrote all of that on my phone so auto correct likes to mess things up. Anyways, this story does tie into my other story A Thousand Years. You should check it out. Reviews are pleasant.**

* * *

It was rather early in the morning when I woke up. The window was the first thing I saw and the grey world outside of it. The breathing that belonged to the person behind me made me remember last night's events. _Oh no...no._

I looked behind my shoulder and sure enough, there was that mess of ginger hair. I wasn't quite sure what to do. Do I wake him? Do I sneak out? I decided to do the last one. His arm was resting on the curve of my body, I gently slid out from it making sure I barely moved him. I finally slid out of the warmth of the bed and into the brisk cold air. _I need clothes_. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out some simple clothing and ran into the small bathroom. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and threw on my dark jeans, tank top, and plaid flannel shirt. When I came out of the bathroom, Bill was still sleeping-in fact, he was snoring. I couldn't but help to smile at the scene before me. In my absence he had hugged my pillow to his chest and was snoring like a bear. It was rather adorable. I quickly shook the feelings and pulled on my boots, grabbed my wand and walked out the door.

I was supposed to be meeting my parent's soon at their house. I made my way down the stairs and hurried to exit the Three Broomsticks. Once outside I apparated and was now standing outside of my childhood home. It wasn't small but it was not huge either. It was cozy big. It was made up of mainly grey stones and white shingles and we had many types of flowers growing around the house as well as a couple small trees and bushes. I walked up the steps and knocked on the large door untill someone answered the door.

"Michelle! Darling you're early, it isn't an issue but goodness dear." My mother greeted me. She was already dressed and had her hair half pulled back. I swear she doesn't age.

"Yeah, sorry mum I just couldn't really get back to bed." I half lied. "Is Matty up yet?"

"Of course not." My mother chuckled as we walked into our medium sized kitchen. "Your brother has never woken up early in his life-maybe for quidditch but that is about it."

"I'm surprised he even woke up for classes. He is so lucky I was Head Girl." I smiled remembering some occasions where I literally had to drag him out of his bed.

"Why don't you go wake him while I start breakfast?" She suggested as she began to pull out some pots and pans. "He needs to get ready anyways since he is shadowing at St. Mungo's with your father since I have the day off."

"Okay,wish me luck." I sighed and walked towards the stairs.

Once I was at his bedroom door I turned the knob and walked in. Of course, there was my brother curled up in his blanket snoring just like Bill had this morning. I looked around his room a bit, I rarely ever came in here. He had quidditch posters pinned on the grey walls along with some band posters as well. I stepped over some dirty laundry on the ground and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Matty." I said and shook him gently. I just saw the mop of black hair turn to face the opposite side of me.

"Matthew, wake up." I shook him harder. I thought I heard him grumble something but then he was quiet. "You're tiring child."

I started to feel the sleepiness taking me over now. Tonks and I had the day off so I might as well sleep. "Matty, move over."

* * *

**Bill's POV**

I turned the key in the door to my flat and stepped through, once in I closed the door and leaned against it. I'm such an idiot. I'm a terrible person. I can't believe what happened and it was mainly my fault. I took a deep breath and made my way towards my small bathroom and started to run the shower. I began to undress with shaky hands but stopped and looked myself in the mirror. My red hair was a mess and I now found that my reflection angered me. I finished undressing and stepped into the shower. The water was hot and soothing which helped calm a bit. I leaned against the shower wall and reflected on last night.

Soft rosy lips, flawless pale skin, and big violet eyes were all I could picture in my head. I couldn't get her out of my head now. Her face, her voice, her body...It was wrong and I knew that. But no one truly understands how I feel about Michelle. She was my whole world. We were best friends as children and she grew to be my crush and soon my girlfriend...and then my fiance. I was ready to marry her and spend forever with just me and her. If I had a say in all of this we would still be together.

I turned the water a little cooler to help hopefully make me think a little clearer. Now onto Fleur. She is my fiance now. She just came into my life and somehow won my affections. I do love her and I really meant it when I asked her to be my wife. But I may be substituting Michelle with her. If I told Fleur any of this she would call of the wedding. She would be heartbroken. I can't hurt her, that would be a lousy thing to do to a sweet girl like Fleur.

"You've done it now Bill." I muttered to myself glumly. "All those years of being perfect and the one time you really mess up you _really_ mess up."

I washed my hair and the rest of my body and turned off the water. Pulling the curtain open I grabbed the towel on the bar and ran it over my hair and then wrapped it around my waist. When I opened the bathroom door and exited the small room I went into my bedroom and plopped on my back and stared up at the white ceiling and started to think back...like way back.

_The sky was dark and full of twinkling stars. It was sixth year and spring time, everything was blossoming. Including my feelings for my best friend. We were laying on the grass near the lake since there was really nothing else to do on a Saturday night. I had been debating for a week or two if I should tell her how I feel about her. Would it ruin our friendship? Maybe she would have feelings for me too._

_"You're awfully quiet tonight Billy Boy." She said to me, her cheek against the green grass as she looked to me._

_"Oh, I just have some stuff on my mind is all." I covered and met her amazing eyes. She just smiled at me turned her gaze back to the night time sky._

_"Care to share?" _

_"Not really." I knew this would bug her._

_She turned back to me and propped herself up on her elbow. "And why the bloody hell not?"_

_"Because I don't think you can handle it." She raised a brow at me and I pretended to be interested in the stars._

_"Come on, tell me." She pressed on._

_"Fine. The thing is there is this girl and I really like her but I don't know if she even sees me like that."_

_"Who is she?" She asked immediately._

_"Just a girl."_

_"Is she in our house?"_

_"Does it matter?"_

_"Of course it matters!" She exclaimed. "She may some Slytherin bitch like Samantha Moseley!"_

_"What's wrong with her?" I knew she hated Samantha's guts._

_"Well for one she called me a mudblood whore because she caught Richie staring at me during dinner the other day and not to mention that one time she hexed my broom before the game!"_

_"Well, it is definitely not Samantha so you don't have to worry about it."_

_"Tell me what year she is in."_

_"Ours."_

_"Is she pretty? Wait-don't answer because you'll say yes and we both have different opinions on beauty."_

_"Merlin Michelle, I'll tell you eventually."_

_"Fine, but can you tell me about her?" She pouted as she laid back down on the soft earth beside me._

_"Like what?"_

_"What do you like about her?"_

_Where do I begin? "Well, she is a very bright witch for her age. Gets excellent marks."_

_"Yeah well so do we, big deal."_

_I chuckled. "She can be very witty at times. Most people think she is very quiet or even too stuck up to talk to them but she isn't-she just doesn't socialize easily."_

_"What else?"_

_"Well she makes me laugh and smile which is always a good thing..."_

_"And?"_

_"Well I have known her a rather long time now." Here it goes. "Like since we were kids. We have been friends for what seems like forever and lately I have been noticing she isn't really just a girl anymore...she is becoming a woman. A very attractive one. It all started one day when I saw her talking to some seventh year Ravenclaw bloke-she didn't know I was watching her. She never does."_

_She wasn't saying anything._

_"Anyways, when I saw her talking to him, I felt something. It was Jealousy. You see, for the most part it has always been me and her. Sure we have other friends and all but we're best friends. I can tell her anything and I hope she feels the same way. But I think these feelings have been building up for some time now. I notice everything about her in different ways. Her eyes seem more beautiful, her skin somehow more radiant, lips more red...don't get me started on that smile." I took a deep breath. "I think I should tell her how I've been feeling, but I'm scared she won't feel the same and that it might ruin everything. I care a great deal about her...What do you think I should do?"_

_I turned my head towards her and watched her. She was just staring up at the sky still but I could tell she was thinking of something._

_"I think," She began. "That you should just tell her straight up how you feel. She may feel the same way."_

_"Really? Do you think that's a good idea?"_

_"Yes, I do."_

_"What is she hexes me or slaps me."_

_"Trust me, she won't."_

_"Alright." I nodded and looked back up to the sky. "I'll tell her next time I see her."_

_I couldn't help but smirk for I knew what was now coming._

_"William Weasley you arse! I'm not a fool!" She snapped._

_I rolled over so I was almost on top of her. She looked furious but still beautiful._

_"Relax." I smiled down at her. "Michelle, I-I have feelings for you. I think I always have but never really knew it until now. Michelle...I love you."_

_I stared down at her, my heart pounding so hard that I could swear she could hear it._

_"Bill," She gazed into my eyes and I felt myself swoon. "I love you too."_

_"Really?" I felt overjoyed to hear those words come out of her mouth._

_"Yes, I've been waiting for you to say this since last year!"_

_"I'm sorry, I know I'm a git." I grinned._

_"Yes, you are." She giggled. I couldn't help it anymore. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her perfect full red ones and in that moment I realized this is where I wanted to stay._


	3. Chapter 3

It was nearly dark when Tonks and I arrived at Hogwarts. We were here to talk to Severus and Dumbledore about Order business and when some of the meetings were to be. I was distracted our whole way here, I didn't even notice we were in the castle until we went up some stairs. I felt bad for not saying much to Tonks, I just couldn't really stop thinking back on everything and I felt myself detach from everyone else. I mean, here I am still grieving over Sirius' death then I go sleep with Bill...who is engaged!

"Are you okay Michelle?" Tonks asked eyeing me.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" I faked a smile as we turned past a corner.

"You have been unusually quiet." She noted.

"Oh, just a lot on my mind is all." She nodded and we continued on our path. As we walked, I couldn't help but to remember moments that had happened in this school. Just down that corridor over there my mate Ana, little Ana, had slapped Henry Allen and told him off when she found out he had been shagging some Ravenclaw girl. That arch over there was where Ezra had gotten his first kiss by one of our good friends Willa. Those were such simple times-better times. That's what I was thinking until I saw the window where Bill and I sat on the last day of our time at Hogwarts...when he told me that we would never part as long as he could help it. That we would marry and be happy forever...

I felt sick again. It felt like I was about to puke.

"Tonks-go without me." I stopped suddenly causing her to turn and give me a worried look. "I think I'm going to be sick."

I didn't give her any time to say anything for I took off bolting in the opposite direction and around a corner. For a moment I didn't realize where I was going, I only noticed that some students were quite surprised by the sights of me. Withing a couple minutes I was in one of the girls bathrooms. I guess I still remembered where things were here. I ran into a stall, fell to my knees and emptied my stomach into the porcelain bowl in front of me. I tried to keep my hair back and I just prayed I did a good enough job.

Once I was finished, I leaned against the wall of the small stall and put my head between my knees. I wasn't quite sure what made me sick...maybe those memories did it. Maybe. I started to cry silently. I cried because of Bill, because of what we did, what we should and could be...and because I just puked and that was pretty disgusting in every way possible. I need to get my life together. I need to get over Sirius and I need to let go of Bill. I had made my choice and now I must actually face the fact he found someone else.

After I cleaned myself up and made myself look more presentable, I went to go find Tonks. I kind of forgot the path I had taken to get here so this will be fun. It was around dinner time so a majority of the students were in the Great Hall. It was nice to walk around alone. When I was a student here I would sometimes wander about the halls after curfew-well before I was a Prefect or Head Girl. The astronomy tower was one of my favorites, especially at night time. I realized I should hurry up and catch up with Tonks before she worries too much so I picked up my pace a bit, so much that I didn't even see the person tying their shoe.

"Michelle?" She called down the corridor. I whipped head head around.

"Lyra!" I smiled and we practically ran to each other and I embraced her. "I was hoping I'd see you before I left the castle." I murmured into her hair.

"What are you doing here?" She asked pulling away from me.

"Tonks and I are here on Order business." I said quietly and she just nodded as we saw a few students walk by. "But how have you been? Classes good?"

"Uh, yeah they're fine. Acing them as always." She smiled.

"How are your friends? I haven't seen Harry or Hermione since that night in the Ministry..." It was still a little difficult to talk about for me. I saw Sirius die and I never got to say goodbye.

"They're fine, are you?" She looked up at me, she was a few inches shorter than I am we looked practically identical. Same hair, face shape, body build, except her eyes were a sort of ocean blue color.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just so fresh still." I sighed.

"Michelle, is something else wrong?" She asked gently.

"Well yeah, I found out about Bill's engagement...I saw him this past Saturday night." I looked down at the ground

"How are you taking it?" She squeezed my hand.

"As well as I can, I still love him like I did when we were together. That'll never change." I smiled slightly. "But enough about that wedding, Madeline and Fred are marrying over Christmas break! Isn't that exciting?" I tried to be enthusiastic.

"It is, truly." She smiled, we were all happy for Madeline. They had been good friends since they were babies and only until last year did he ask her out.

"Listen, I got to go. But I will write you. I love you Lyra." I pulled her into a tight hug and she held on tightly.

"I love you too." I released her and walked down the corridor, winking before I rounded it.

* * *

When Tonks arrived back to the Three Broomsticks I decided to just go to bed rather than go to dinner. She said goodnight to me and I carried on upstairs. I felt kind of bad not joining her but I saw Remus come in and figured that they may want to be alone anyways. She has been trying to pursue a relationship with him and he is reluctant-I understand his reasons. He's scared she will get hurt or killed because of him. It's actually quite sweet, you see, he loves her. Why else would he try to protect her? I just hope Tonks and Remus come together in the end.

When I reached the top of the stairs I was too preoccupied digging in my pockets for my key to noticed the bouquet of flowers I nearly stepped on. They were really beautiful. It was a beautiful bouquet of anemones,camellias,dahlias, orchids, and orange roses wrapped up in a paper covering. I bent down and picked up the amazing flowers and finally unlocked the door. Once inside, I sat down on the small love seat and examined the flowers and found a small note with them.

_Michelle,_

_There are not enough words to say what I have to say to you and nor do I actually know what I want to say to you. I can't apologize for what had happened because I'm not sorry that it happened. Everything I said I meant. I will always love you Michelle, always. I won't apologize for that either. I don't want to spend the rest of our lives avoiding each other. I really hope you come Christmas, I would really like to see you._

_ Yours always, Bill_

Well I don't know who else I thought would send these to me. But honestly, I should have expected these. Bill was always one to send me flowers or bring them home to me. That was just something he always did, and knowing Bill these all had a meaning of some sort. I set the flowers on the coffee table and walked over to the dusty books case to grab the empty vase that stood there alone. I rinsed it and filled it with water then put the flowers in it and set it on the table next to my bed.

I got undressed and pulled out on of my cotton nighties and slipped it on. I sat on my bed brushing my hair and staring at the flowers. They all seemed so different and like they shouldn't go together-but they did. They just simply did and it was beautiful. I set the brush on the table next to the vase and got under the warm blankets. I didn't lay awake, instead I drifted off into a comfortable sleep filled with vivid dreams of my childhood. My siblings and I playing by the pond in our back yard, rolling down the nearby hill with the Weasleys...and of course the oldest red headed boy handing me anemones.


End file.
